A Very Real Issue in Bankruptcy

In the past week, I have encountered two people in the throes of "stuff." Both have reason to be upset and anxious. For a Christian, the knee-jerk response to both could be, "Be anxious for nothing..." Ya. God is able. Yes, we should give our anxieties to Him because He is our peace.

But the fact is, both ARE anxious. Both ARE hurting. Both THINK they are going crazy and cannot find the bandwidth to hand it over to God and believe He will take it. One feels like a complete failure to his family and shows up physically but disappears mentally. The other is trying to hold her family together but admits to curling up in a fetal position on her bad days but justifies it by saying that her behavior is "normal" for someone going through what she is going through.

Let's just be real here today. Both of these people are depressed--really depressed. But who are they helping by ignoring the depression, and/or justifying the depression?

Some things we go through are HUGE. And for those of us dealing with bankruptcy, we think that we are just dealing with earthly finances, but really, we are affected in so many other ways as you may be discovering. Big things DO affect us--our reasoning, our relationships with our spouses and children, and our ability to function. These ailments start in our brain, in our thinking. It is possible that you or someone you know has a broken brain.

In my experience, my pride mixed with my belief in how my faith should work, kept me from seeking help for what others could clearly see I needed. But while I wasn’t seeking help, I came unglued over misplaced Legos, kicked a hole in a closet, and generally overreacted to anything on any given day, spoke harshly to the people I loved the most, and made myself miserable for doing it. Then, I lamented over coming unglued, chastised myself for not getting it together, and gave myself pep talks to be nicer—It was an ugly vicious circle.

If life were a football field, I was in the locker room. In other words, I was finding it difficult to even suit up to play life. The effort to “show up” took everything I had. On the days that I did show up, I was still thinking about the days I did not show up OR I was so tired from getting there, I didn’t have much to give. Does this sound familiar? How is it working for you?

For me, it wasn’t. It was miserable—for everyone. My bootstraps were broken. I couldn’t pull ‘em up. My brain files were corrupted. I needed some foundational and systemic healing to occur before I could even reasonably face my very real earthly issues. I needed help getting to that playing field.

A good friend pointed out that despite my bravado and good intentions to get over everything on my own, I wasn’t helping anyone, not my family, and certainly not myself. In fact, I was doing more harm to my psyche and my relationships as I struggled to fight what I now recognize was depression.

When we break bones, we endure a cast for a time. If we have high blood pressure, we might take a medication for a time while we learn to exercise and eat better. If we are sick, we stay in bed for a time as we recover. Why is it so hard, then, to seek help when our brains break? Is it because there is no brain-o-meter to measure how sporadically our synapses are firing? Is it because we are afraid to admit we might be crazy? as in forever crazy? Is it just too much of a stigma? Or are we just too proud to need help?

I am not doctor and in fact, it might surprise you to know that I generally fall in the holistically-minded camp. God designed a beautiful system in our bodies and provided resources to tune them. However, He also provided the means to medicinal breakthroughs to remedy causes that need medication. It is not a sin to need to be fixed.

If you or someone you love spends more days in the locker room than in celebrating the joy in even the smallest moments, consider a visit to a doctor. Once I got over the stigma of being a Valium-induced Hollywood wife stereotype, I found help and my life began anew. I believe God provided a solution that enabled me to show up and find hope again. It allowed me to reasonably approach not just life, but God. In my despair, ALL my relationships suffered, including the very one, the ONLY one, that could truly bring relief and hope.

An Honorable Life?

The Bible is a tool for our salvation--open to all, full of balm, healing, wisdom, and grace. In it we find solace, peace, and reassurance. I find it ironic then, when the very book that comforts sends Christians into a tailspin.

It begins innocently enough. You are doing your daily devotion, searching God’s word and feeding your spirit when, BAM, you are confronted with a scripture like this:

“Dear friends, be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world… (1 Peter 2:12 NLT)

“It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you.” (1 Peter 2:15)

But…you think.

“I am guilty. Their accusations aren’t empty or foolish. I am not honorable. And my honor is supposed to lead others to Christ? FAIL!”

What do you do with that?

First of all, the Bible is also for reproof (2 Timothy 3:16). We should never look to grace to excuse our behaviors, but to cleanse us from them. If the Holy Spirit convicts you, you need to do some work.

BUT, you do not need to pack your suitcase with guilt.

Well then…you think.

“I’ll just pretend to be good. After all, I am trying to be a ‘Good Christian’ and I don’t want to wreck an unbeliever’s opinion of Christians by letting them see my mistakes.”

Guess what? Unbelievers see right through that persona. Hence the hypocritical label of Christians.

It seems impossible, then, to live up to that scripture. But God put it there. He knows us. He knows YOU. So He must have made a way for this to work.

Way back in Genesis, Cain, one of Adam and Eve’s sons, made some mistakes. He was the hothead of their sons. God asked him, in Genesis 4:6, why he looked so dejected. He said, “You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

Notice what God didn’t say. He didn’t say, “You shouldn’t have made mistakes.” The key is in the refusal to do what is right. Perhaps you have made a mistake. If you have asked for forgiveness, God has granted it. If you are repentant, you are changing your ways. That is honorable. While unbelievers may have seen you commit your mistake, they will also see you dealing with it, making adjustments, and moving forward. How can that be a poor witness?

…Unless you are pretending nothing happened or are hiding…

I am not advocating that we “over share” with everyone we meet, vomiting our mistakes in the moment of introduction, but we need to be sensitive to opportunities to share our mistakes along with what we learned about ourselves, about God, and about life through them. That can be an honorable example to others of the redeeming love of Christ. If we let others, even other Christians, believe we are perfect, or even close to perfect; we do more harm to the plight of sharing the gospel than good. There was only one perfect being and let me tell you…it wasn’t you and it wasn’t me.

Remember, ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) You don’t have an edge on the market of mistakes, so you do not need to hide behind the guilt of making one.

Moses killed a man and hid away in his shame. God said, “Uh, uh. I need you to lead my people.” His conduct is memorable in its honor despite his early mistakes.

David committed adultery, lied, AND murdered. Yet God used his words as an example of an honorable heart toward God.

Friend, do not give up on yourself. God certainly has not. He has plans for you. Ask Him for the reassurance of your forgiveness.

Frugality is In!

I thought you all might enjoy this article, "Finding Joy in Frugality," that ran in last week's Parade magazine. I have always been frugal, but I haven't always liked it. Though I still sometimes struggle, I found that changing my mindset to making a choice rather than having not enough makes a huge difference in my attitude.

God of Restoration

Last summer, in the middle of the scorching sun-drenched month of July, I lost my sunglasses. My fault. I misplaced them. Oh, but I was angry. For one, they are the best sunglasses I have ever owned, and two, I take pride in the fact that I don’t lose stuff. Third, I am a redhead with light eyes and I really need my glasses. After a frantic search, I succumbed to a cheap, non-polarized pair that wasn’t made for anything but a fashion statement. But I complained. Oh how I complained. Just ask my family.

A few months later, my girlfriend casually handed me my beloved and mentioned that I had left them by her pool. Imagine my elation! Picture the ecstasy of mine eyes as I donned said pair and once again viewed my world in comfort. What had been lost was now restored! But it was even better than before. Much better.

Glasses are a small thing. Houses, cars, investments--These are quite another. It hurts when we lose these things. Likely, you are angry if you have lost hard-earned possessions through your bankruptcy. To have things ripped from your life, whether or not you had a hand in the ripping, feels like a loss—it is a loss.

While the hope of ever recovering what you lost wanes, know this: You serve a God of Restoration. He is in the business of giving back. To familiarize you with His track record, here are just a few things we know He has restored:
• Economy (Nehemiah 5:1-13)
• Joy (Psalm 51:12)
• Comfort (Isaiah 57:18)
• Stuff/Artifacts (Jeremiah 27:22)
• Backsliders and those who have fallen (Galatians 6:1)
• A wife and possessions (Genesis 20:14)
• Position/Job (Genesis 40:21)
• Money (Genesis 42:28)
• A king’s hand
• A son
• Property
• Land
• Health
• Soul
• Life

…and best of all…
• All things! (Acts 3:21. Heaven holds Jesus Christ until the restoration of all things, which God has spoken…since the world began.)

The worst day of our bankruptcy for my husband was the sight of his Land Rover trailing away behind a tow truck after repossession. He loved that car. For him, that day represented the pinnacle of loss and more pointedly, his failure.

The thing is, that car came easily. And packed snuggly in the trunk, you may have found a large box of pride nestled beside the spare tire.

The Greek word for “restore” is katartizo, and it refers to mending bones and nets. Perhaps we had some broken bones in our soul and holes in our nets, even as we enjoyed the successes of our labors, even as we served in our church, gave money, and did good things. God had something to say to us and it wasn’t until we experienced loss that we could truly hear His voice.

He showed us humility, for one. Humility in thought and humility in stuff. Without our self-made image around us, we had nowhere to turn but to Him for provision. And He provided. He restored—not necessarily in like things, but in ways that were so much better.

If we had never lost, would we have ever seen this Restorative God?

Please purge the bitterness you feel over the loss and instead, begin to embrace it as the first step of a richer and deeper understanding of a God, who has plans for you, plans of good and not evil. All things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I know how hard it is to understand this concept just now, but please, trust in the process. He made a promise to you and He is a God of His Word.

Don’t look for restoration today or tomorrow. Likely, you won’t find it. But do the work of mending your nets and healing your bones. Ask Him what He has to say to you. His mighty love will heal and restore in ways you cannot comprehend and in time, you will recognize this beautiful attribute—God of Restoration.

God of All Comfort

I will admit, I have been casting about in my mind for a fresh entry and coming up short. The sun is out (finally), my garden needs tending, the winter business pressures have eased somewhat—my mind has floated elsewhere.

I love that God gives us those moments, reprieves if you will, where we can let our breath out, relax a little, and focus on fun things for a time. He is, after all, a God of Joy. Strange, though, how much I missed God. I have been literally clinging to his Word over the past six months in our own struggle through this recession. I have sat in His lap, cried at the foot of His throne, and begged for His loving arms. And He has delivered, every time.

I know that my “break” has been a gift. I know that He has been no less the same God. I know that He has not left me. It is I who, instead of wrapping myself around a leg of His throne, stood up and walked in His power, strengthened by Him but a little more on my own. I found that while I felt empowered by His inner strength, I missed those moments of intimacy.

Yesterday, I got some disappointing news. Nothing major in the scope of life, but enough to bring me to tears. As I worked through the news in my mind, I found myself reaching for my Bible, flipping to words of solace and seeking the God of all Comfort. As usual, He delivered, and while the disappointment may take time to abate, I know that my God has me in His arms. It felt like home.

Dare we ask that we not stray far from adversity if it means leaving God’s intimate comfort? I am beginning to understand Paul’s joy in his chains. When we are weak, He is strong. My friend, I pray that you will miss Him, too, as you rebuild your life, resume normalcy, and get back on track. If you do, it will mean that you have pressed in to His word and allowed that special intimacy that only pressure can forge.

My blessings to you.

Have you lost your salt?

After a big failure, it is natural to want to hide, to reason that we have no good things to say. If we can't get it right, how can we presume to advise others? But Jesus said that we are the salt of the earth. And he asked that if we lose our flavor, how will the earth be seasoned? (Matthew 5:13)

Do not forget that we have an enemy who is roaming this earth, seeking whom he may devour. Miriam-Webster offers an insightful definition for devour: 1. to eat up greedily or ravenously. 2. to use up or destroy, as if by eating. 3. to prey upon. 4. to enjoy avidly. A priceless description of the one who aims to rob you of your witness. They may as well have substituted "devour" with "devil." In other words, your enemy is avidly enjoying you as he greedily uses you up, destroys you, dismembers your mind, your spirit, your psyche. Are you letting yourself be served up, a tastily seasoned meal, that as it is consumed loses its future flavor?

Let it not be so! Hold on to your seasoning! While you may not be able to teach about financial stewardship, you can point others to a merciful God who kept you in His hand and delivered you through your darkest time. You may not have the resources to give large gifts, but you can speak about Jehovah Jireh, your Provider, who has kept you alive by providing your need as you suffered through a great correction in your life. 

Do not hide yourself, friend. The enemy is the one who is telling you that you have nothing left to offer. 

Go and be a light unto the world. 

Grace Has Called My Name.

Listen to this!